The first month

I am coming to the end of my first month of officially being on anxiety/depression meds. It’s almost time for me to see the doctor again and evaluate myself and how to move forward. What I have learned is that the meds are definitely not a “fix-all”. They are part of a process that, while helpful, are not the only components to the solution. I feel so much more at ease about some things that have previously sent me spiraling into anxiety attacks and I thankfully haven’t had an attack since starting the medicine. I do still feel stressed and anxious, but it feels more controllable. I do still need to talk to people and process my emotions from time to time because it’s not something I can do on my own yet. But, as I’ve recently found out, in moments of extreme stress, I am able to remove myself rather than let my emotions control the situation. I’m getting better at recognizing that, sometimes, problems are created by my own self-destruction and my need for things to be “perfect”. Walking away is often times better than staying to focus on how wrong I feel.

What I am most happy and proud about is that I am able to identify and express these things in a more clear and constructive way. I am seeing the areas I need more help in and I am starting to be able to form a plan for how to better navigate my own emotions rather than having them work against me. Like I said before, it’s a process and I have a lot of work to do still. But I no longer feel overwhelmed by that fact. I no longer feel helpless. I no longer feel isolated. And most importantly, I no longer feel hopeless. 💚

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