Embracing The Chaos

I wake up everyday to the sound of my cat purring and circling the bedroom in anticipation of his morning meal. I brush my teeth and put my toothbrush in its place, I grab my “work” vest and hat from the hook where I always place them, unplug my phone from the outlet where my phone is always plugged, take my keys from the “key basket” near my door, walk down to my car that is always parked in the same space that I’ve carefully considered and chosen, and I head to work. After a few hours, I get to take an hour lunch break, I drive home to eat and spend more time with my cat. I park in the same spot, keys go in the basket, phone gets plugged in, and my cat meets me in my recliner, ready for cuddles. When I later get off work for the day, I repeat this process.

My life is pretty routine and I’ve come to learn that’s what I need to maintain. It’s comforting and makes me feel in control of at least some aspects of my life. But, I also crave spontaneity while simultaneously fearing the madness of a broken routine.

Yesterday my niece and nephew came to see “uncle Diju’s” apartment and cat (mostly cat)….now, I love and cherish these kids like they were my own blood and while I have become accustomed to the chaotic family dynamic at their home, I was not fully prepared for that dynamic and my dynamic to collide!

I found myself constantly worried with where they were setting things, reminding them “that’s not a toy”, coaching them to be nice to the cat, don’t run, they need a snack, all my food is spicy, now they need water, I don’t know the answer to any of your questions about my aquarium, bathroom break, throw that away, don’t throw that away, etc . . .

When the time came for them to go home, to say I was frazzled would be an immense understatement. All I could think about is how wonderful their mom is. How unstoppable and powerful she must be to push through everyday embracing the chaos. She’s my best friend and she’s amazing.

When I think of all the different types of moms in the world and what it must be like to love a child so fiercely that you learn to live in the lunacy that is motherhood. I find a new appreciation for all the moms who wake up everyday and find the truly beautiful moments throughout their days that remind them how special family is. I am reminded of how remarkably strong women are.

To all the Moms out there (especially mine) You’re doing an amazing job. 💚

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