Understanding

I understand depression

I understand alcoholism

I understand suicide

I understand substance abuse

I understand anxiety

I understand self-harm

I understand addiction

I understand sadness

Of all my understandings, what I understand the most, is that there is no cure. There is only coping. That’s all any of us really want, we wish we could cope with the feelings that lead to all the things listed above. The feelings that tell us when we’re surrounded by friends, we are an annoyance. Feelings that make us believe that life is better without us. Feelings that overwhelm our minds. Some days, it’s all just too much and we want so badly to just have a moment of value in ourselves. Or even just a moment where we don’t feel like our existence is a plague to everyone and everything around us.

I understand. I wish I didn’t. But I do.

We try and try to find that path to happiness. But every path that winds back to the same feelings just cripples us even more. Every dead end chips away at the hope we started with. How do we keep going? What’s the endgame? Do we drag others with us for support or do we learn to walk alone? Hoping, coping, understanding. What do we do with the knowledge of our own faults? We just have to keep going, find another path, cope a different way, hope for a better tomorrow.

Understand one another.

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